DOHA: Pre-marriage counselling is a must if the rising rate of divorce in the Qatari community is to be checked, say some citizens as debate rages over who is to blame for a broken marriage: the husband or wife.
A prominent Qatari sociologist says it is the wife who should mainly be held responsible for rocking her marriage, because for her, the husband is nothing but a money machine.
A wedding normally costs a million riyals, so for a 23-year-old man tying the knot, this is too much of a financial burden to carry on his shoulder.
“The marriage gown of the bride itself costs something like QR150,000,” said Dr Munira Al Rumaihi, a professor of sociology at Qatar University.
She told local Arabic daily Arrayah in comments published yesterday: “When you start off your married life with a million riyals, you obviously expect what follows is equally expensive and fabulous”.
A million riyals has just been splurged on a few hours of a night of ceremonies, she said. “Then, young women, after their marriage, mostly look at their men as though they were some kind of money machine.”
“Poor husband, he remains burdened with debt as he has spent so much and then, constantly demands are being made on him.”
Arrayah was seeking reaction of Qatari men and women as well as community elders and experts to the findings of a study carried out by the Family Consultancy Centre (FFC) which said economic factors were responsible for some 30 to 40 percent of divorces in the Qatari community.
A Qatari woman, however, told the daily that most Qatari husbands were stingy when it came to spending on their wives.
Noora Mohamed said most Qatari men don’t give much time to their families and have the money to travel overseas with their friends but don’t spend on their wives.
“When one talks of divorce the accusing finger is always pointed at the woman. It is said that she is too demanding and the husband is painted as an angel.”
There are some women who are greedy, but there are some husbands as well who don’t want to shoulder the responsibility of their wives and children, she said.
Pre-marriage counselling is the answer to the problem of rising rate of divorce, said Ahmed Mohamed Al Sayed, a national.
He told the daily there are women who spend too much on luxury and makeup. “But I don’t agree that 40 percent of divorces take place just because of financial reasons,” he said of the FFC’s study.
“I think it would be fair to say that this percentage would be 10, not 40.” One of the main reasons for divorce in the Qatari community is that marriages take place without the couple knowing each other well and due to the interference of their families, he said.